a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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