At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
