Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Man, jail baloney is awful.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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