I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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