i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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