Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
