rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
