he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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