I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
