She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
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Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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