Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
