we're blogging at a bar
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
