12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize