I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
nutella sex= disaster
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
