marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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