Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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