she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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