I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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