Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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