You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
