Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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