Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
