This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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