covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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