You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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