Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize