Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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