just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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