look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
