Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
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The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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