In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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