he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
