Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
