Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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