turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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