Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I DEMAND FORESKIN
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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