hotel room ftw
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
