remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
