remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
