im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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