sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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