whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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