that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
