I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
