PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am mentally ready for anal.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
