Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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