Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
