they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
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