So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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