I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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