Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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