I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
