Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
