Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize