guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize