girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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