You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
