Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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