Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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