I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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