I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
